Finding Peace in the Gray: Reconciling My Faith in Christ While Preparing to Transition (MTF)

There's a common retort people use when looking at transgender people: God doesn't make mistakes. So, is the reality of transgender people proof that God makes mistakes? No. It's proof that we live in a fallen world and that despite how are when we we leave our Creator, when we get here, the environment immediately impacts us. A perfect example is a child that's born with both male and female reproductive organs. Nothing has happened to them to make them this way. And still they are undecided or their gender is not specified. If sex can only be assigned at birth, how do we explain this? This is not a sign that God makes mistakes, it's a sign that as soon as he started the process of putting that little seed in that woman's womb, her genetics, her environment, her makeup... everything affected how that baby came out.  We can classify transgender as a mistake (a warping of a perfect design) because if things went exactly as they were supposed to, we either would h...

When you don't like your male persona, you're looking for any positive things you can grab onto. Something like strands of rope you try to grab onto as you're falling. Really, you're looking for any grab whatsoever, any possible way to not blow up your life. Well, I've been hanging for a while and my rope is finally gone. I'm out of reasons to fight to be this man any longer. Quite simply, I don't like him. I don't like who I am as him. The only thing I like is what being him has brought me. Because of him I have two wonderful daughters, with a third baby on the way. And an absolute knockout of a wife. ... I don't know If I'll stay married. I hope to. I really hope it works out. We've been married nearly nine years already and experienced so many highs (and lows) together. I don't want to start over! But, I know there's no guarantee and when I'm honest with myself I know the chances are very slim. I lost my dad when I was 13. He g...

The first thing that needs to be understood is this. There's a world of misconceptions around transgender people. What I want to focus on most and what I find to be most important is the belief that we are just people actively looking to live in sin. More accurately, we are just people that don't fit in the skin that we're in and are desperately looking to find a place of peace and contentment. We have walked through many stages in life trying to fit as the gender we were assigned at birth. Through toil and daily struggle and countless moments of trying to will ourselves to fit our outward gender, it never fits. It's like trying to walk in shoes that are too big your whole life: more often than not, you find yourself tripping in things that come easy to so many others. One of the biggest things I've been faced with in my lifelong walk with Christ has been how to give Him all of me when I'm so tied up on the inside. How do I give Him my time and my attention when...