God Doesn't Make Mistakes

There's a common retort people use when looking at transgender people: God doesn't make mistakes. So, is the reality of transgender people proof that God makes mistakes? No. It's proof that we live in a fallen world and that despite how are when we we leave our Creator, when we get here, the environment immediately impacts us. A perfect example is a child that's born with both male and female reproductive organs. Nothing has happened to them to make them this way. And still they are undecided or their gender is not specified. If sex can only be assigned at birth, how do we explain this? This is not a sign that God makes mistakes, it's a sign that as soon as he started the process of putting that little seed in that woman's womb, her genetics, her environment, her makeup... everything affected how that baby came out. 

We can classify transgender as a mistake (a warping of a perfect design) because if things went exactly as they were supposed to, we either would have been born the gender that we've always identified with or born our current gender without always feeling alien to it. Instead we're put in these bodies that don't match our mindset and our real personality and are left trying to solve the unsolvable mystery that is our identity.

I feel the message many Christians give off today is one of 'you must live this way or God wants nothing to do with you'. My friends, this is the gray. This is not a place any of us really want to be in but this is the place where we best fit. And if God can't handle our gray, what was the point of the cross? For the longest time I've lived in fear that I'm disappointing Him. And I have been dedicated to killing this part of me solely for that reason, until finally the idea of killing her was starting to kill me. The simple and horrible idea that I would have to remain as this man who can't really enjoy things the way she can and who can't really enjoy life the way it should be enjoyed... and as I started taking little steps toward her, I started finding, 'this is more fulfilling, this is more in line with who I am.' And again that statement won't be accepted by a lot of people in the Christian Community, because they will say you are who God made you to be and he gave you a male name... and yes He did gave me a male name but I've never fit my male name. He gave me a male identity... and I've tripped through it daily for almost 30 years. 

I honestly believe that I'm meant to do this, to walk this path, to reach out to those who are discarded, to show them that the love of Christ has not left them, that He still wants a relationship, He still wants you as His child. Why? Simply because, even though we are living in the gray, God still finds worth in us, He still finds us to be priceless in His eyes.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Don't Owe My Dad Anything

(Originally written on September 19th 2020. Days before my first therapy session) I am my father's son, right? That's the expectation. Except, I've never been a typical son. And, he was taken from me when I needed him most. He's been gone longer than I ever knew him. An imaginary eye that's always been watching me from afar. A standard I've held myself too. Some kind of thing where I make him proud and we one day look back on this life like I did good, did him proud. That's all well and good in theory. Continue chasing a shadow that isn't even there. Continue running a race that he never started. He left me to fend for myself, me and my weird, ill-fitting skin, and my awkward identity that I've tripped through most of my life. I'm supposed to find my place in this world. I thought I had it as a writer. That led to nothing and with it the only conceivable reason for why dad died to begin with. But that doesn't seem to be it. A lot of the times
Read more

The Importance of a Name

I was going to go with an already established name, something people would easily recognize, easily grab onto. But I never really fit into what people can easily grab onto, which is one reason why my current male name has always been kind of bothersome: Nathan. Usually you find about three or four of them in one classroom, at least that's how it was when I was growing up. No differentiation, nothing really unique or special. The name I chose initially was Valorie. After discussing it with my wife and finding out she really didn't connect with that name, we went on a new name hunt. I found this, a perfect fitting name: Vaela (Vay-la). And what that name means in Old Norse is to lament or cry. And that's where she was born, in my grief, and in my pain. So isn't it fitting that my female name would reflect my journey so far? As I prepare to transition, I'm essentially building a person... not that she isn't already there but she has yet to be fully defined. It'
Read more