The Awkward Phase

I've already found that waiting to start HRT in a few months is actually a big step in itself. To some it may seem just like waiting, but you're not actually just waiting, you're preparing in countless little ways. Preparing yourself, preparing your wife, preparing your children. Every day you are shedding the preset image of who you've had to be. And this can be quite awkward.

... Awkward but rewarding. I've seen Vaela many times in the last few weeks. And she's a welcome sight to me always. I've seen her despite my short-but-growing hair, despite my still manly features, and despite my still prominent male wardrobe. And I imagine over the next few months, she'll be even clearer to me. The waiting gives me a chance to work through some of the growing pains now, letting her naturally emerge more and more daily, to where she'll soon be the normal and expected person for me, my wife, and my daughters to see. 

I have yet to start those magic pills. And I know that ultimately they will change me in very real and lasting ways. But I think the only way to truly relish in those changes is to do the dirty work now. If we think of transitioning like remodeling a house, it's important to remember that you can't update something without first pulling down the old.